It all started in October of 2011.
The perpetually inebriated mind behind Parade of Insanity, Percy Pendragon, first launched paradeofinsanity.com as an exercise in public jackassery. It was set up as a poorly moderated rant blog maintained by a paranoid, delusional, conspiracy theorist, angrily tapping away at the key board from beneath a tinfoil hat. The subject matter was largely the impending fall of society and the rising zombie apocalypse. And for all the show, the reality was that Percy was sitting comfortably at his desk, sipping tea, gleaning headlines from around the world and twisting them into brilliantly wild stories, and watching as people came from all over the world to read his hand crafted lunacy. He wanted to see how many people would drink this bizarre koolaid.
It only took a few months for Percy to abandon this endeavor. The reason, as he describes: “After a while it struck me that there were only two options. Either far too many people were actually stupid enough to buy my stories, or there was a ring of truth in the fiction. Either way, I wasn’t prepared to deal with it and turned to other pursuits to take my mind off of it.”
Paradeofinsanity.com would remain dormant for several months before, finally, in the fall of 2012, it happened.
Percy experienced a nervous breakdown. One so heinous that his only recourse was to start drinking. Two weeks later he woke up almost four hundred miles away, on the couch of an old friend, Nathaniel Ferris.
Ferris had known Percy long enough to recognize the signs of bad things to come and arranged for his friend to be shipped to his home in the heart of the deep south, near Macon Georgia.
In his own words: “I think it was when Percy started replying to texts with early 2000’s emo song lyrics. That was the moment I new it was about to get real. By the time I made the arrangements he was barely more than a walking wine skin. Just a fleshy mass of alcohol. Of course, this was more or less what I had planned from the beginning. I just wanted to help him with it. After all, drinking ones self into oblivion is a team sport.”
Over the next month the two could be found at the bottom of a bottle. The bottle in question depended largely on what television program they happened to be watching at the moment. It’s interesting to note that they both later described an affinity for Gin while watching Wilfred, and Bourbon while watching Doctor Who. And it was during this period that Percy invented what would become his signature cocktail, the Tijuana Toilet Trasher. A concoction gained by dissolving a package of gummy worms into a pint of tequila, pouring it over ice, and serving it with a raw jalapeno pepper split down the middle and perched in the edge of the glass.
Then one night the two decided it was time to set their sights higher than common booze and purchased a bottle of absinthe. Being that neither of them had ever tried the drink, they had no idea what to expect. It was this vintage elixir that combined physical inebriation, psychological lucidity, and the taste of Good n Plenty’s that brought on the first thought of what Parade of Insanity could be.
“He was like a new man,” Ferris would later say of his friend. “He immediately started pouring out ideas. He wanted to start a photo agency, that’s what he kept saying, but not just a photo agency. He wanted to build an empire revolving around visual arts, incorporating everything into one company. But it always came back to photography. After all, it’s what he was best at. But the best part was his insistence that it could succeed. Nobody thought it had a chance. Not even me. But my friend was on a mission, and that mission was hilarious, so there I was. Never even thought it would make it as far as a website, but since he already owned the domain he jumped straight into it.”
And so, in January of 2013, paradeofinsanity.com was relaunched.
Percy’s ideas for the company would become more vast and varied as the year progressed. And eventually he hired on a young technical genius to shoulder some of the chores. This young man was Doyle Bradbury.
Very little is known about Doyle, other than that he lasted until spring of 2014, when he staged a coup against Percy. The only clue as to why is found in the one and only interview he ever gave.
“You know what my job here is? I know the line next to my name reads “tech.” but it should read “Head Percy Rangler”. It took all of a half hour before it became glaringly obvious that my talent was best applied to keeping Percy from drunkenly waging war on the monkeys. Take note that that is -the- monkeys. Not a monkey. Not some monkeys. THE monkeys. All of them.”
This was only a few weeks before the coup.
Doyle would go on to mysteriously disappear. Percy would go on to change the subject every time he was questioned on the subject.
Not long after that, Percy began a brief and altogether misguided political career. His campaign lasted six weeks and hinged on a platform of removing politicians from the political process. Not what some might call a triumph.
And finally, the fall of Parade of Insanity would come upon them, when, of all things, the host company that held paradeofinsanity.com failed to inform Percy that the time had come to renew the registration and preceded to demand an ungodly “redemption fee” along side the basic renewal fee, all the while holding the domain just out of Percy’s reach…
…or so they thought.